Back to school routines are in full swing at the Vollette house. We are checking binders, checking the computer updates, signing planners and orchestrating activities. I make 20 lunches a week, wash at least that many loads of laundry and juggle the schedules of not just my family, but of five others as well for my childcare job. Two things I must say. First, no comments or feelings about me being a "supermom". There is no such thing and I don't want to be one. I just do what needs to be done for my family and most days, I do it without a total meltdown. That's my meltdown. Not the kids'. Second, I know my kids are old enough to make their own lunches and do their own laundry. But why am I a stay at home mom if not to take care of my family? They are capable and will be self sufficient by the time they leave my house. I have made this promise to their future wives. Because believe me, there are plenty of things I will need to apologize to those precious women for.
The mornings in our house are only made unpleasant by one thing. SOCK DRAMA! So many people say to me, "Oh you have all boys. You have it so easy. Girls and their drama are just a hot mess you don't even have to worry about". Well, as much as I love the young men in my house, they have their fair share of drama. Not to mention the current trend of girls not matching their socks. You girl moms have it way easier than I do!
At our house, there are never enough socks. When we do locate a pair, we have to do the dreaded "smell test" to see whether the socks are clean or not. This is a potentially life threatening activity depending on where the socks were found. They could be anywhere in my house as my children love to take them off and fling them wherever. Usually at each other to try to gag the victim with the smell. Remember the sentence where I said I do 20 loads of laundry a week? Why are there never enough socks that are the "right socks".
This is where the rest of the drama comes in. Did you know there are right socks and wrong socks? The masterminds of the sock industry amaze me. Because I can't just go to the big box stores and get the cheap white socks. No, my boys have to have socks with special names that cost $15 a pair. When we were shopping for school clothes, the oldest two compromised with us and agreed to share these pricey foot coverings. They take turns. It is the best lesson in sharing I never intended to teach.
As we were discussing the cost of the "right" socks, I got to thinking about my teenage years. The things that were important to me to have in order to feel like I "fit in". Swatch watches, Coca-Cola shirts, an Esprit bag to carry my books, Outback Red 10 button shirts, Guess Jeans and Liz Claiborn purses. As a parent, I tend to forget how important those little things were to feeling confident and secure as I went off to school.
The thing is, I still feel it and see it in adults. Coach purses, Sperry shoes, the newest iPhone. We all want to "fit in". I know there are deeper lessons of self esteem and loving who God created you to be. We do focus on that at our house. I focus on it for myself as a mostly well adjusted adult. But if I can take some to the awkward sting out of navigating the teenage years with a pair of socks, then I will.
I just wish we could find some that match, don't smell, are the right length for the shoe choice, have the correct symbol and aren't white. Because at 6:45 in the morning, this mom could do without the drama.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Weeds And All, Choosing Beauty
This time of year, our yards tell a story. It is dandelion season. The way I see it, there are three types of dandelion yards. The first is the I don't care yard. The owners have not made any attempt to stop the growth of the yellow things. The second yard is the I am really trying here, but my neighbor isn't so what am I supposed to do when all those seeds start blowing my way? The third yard is a pristine expanse of green not even marred by one single dandelion. Our neighborhood is host to all three of these yards and as I drive by them several times a day, it got me thinking.
Not everyone feels the way I do about dandelions. I hate them by the way. I try to get rid of them, but my yard is still host to several. The shift in my dandelion perspective came from the sweet children I care for while their parents work. This past week, I have watched them making wishes as they blow the seeds into the wind (sorry friends next door). I have been handed bouquets of yellow to the sweet exclamation of "here Miss Weegan, these are fo you". Just yesterday one of the boys I watch said, "Look at all the beautiful flowers!" My first response to him was, "well, they might be pretty, but they are just weeds." I realized that I was in danger of crushing his joy. He didn't see weeds when he looked at the dandelions. He saw beauty.
There comes a time in our lives when we stop seeing beauty. I am not sure why that happens. Maybe we become too judgemental and after a while, nothing can measure up to the standard. I am not just talking about the physical beauty of another human being. I mean the beauty in everything. Maybe we are too busy, too jaded, too asleep, too distracted. We see whatever it is we are looking at or experiencing as just a bunch of weeds. Somewhere along the line, maybe someone told us, "well, it's nice and you really tried, but it's just a bunch of weeds."
We need to reclaim beauty. We need to recognize it and celebrate it. We need to explore it and create it. We need to enjoy it and honor it. Beauty in ourselves, in others and in the world we live in. Because sometimes, it is more than just a bunch of weeds. Sometimes it is beautiful.
Not everyone feels the way I do about dandelions. I hate them by the way. I try to get rid of them, but my yard is still host to several. The shift in my dandelion perspective came from the sweet children I care for while their parents work. This past week, I have watched them making wishes as they blow the seeds into the wind (sorry friends next door). I have been handed bouquets of yellow to the sweet exclamation of "here Miss Weegan, these are fo you". Just yesterday one of the boys I watch said, "Look at all the beautiful flowers!" My first response to him was, "well, they might be pretty, but they are just weeds." I realized that I was in danger of crushing his joy. He didn't see weeds when he looked at the dandelions. He saw beauty.
There comes a time in our lives when we stop seeing beauty. I am not sure why that happens. Maybe we become too judgemental and after a while, nothing can measure up to the standard. I am not just talking about the physical beauty of another human being. I mean the beauty in everything. Maybe we are too busy, too jaded, too asleep, too distracted. We see whatever it is we are looking at or experiencing as just a bunch of weeds. Somewhere along the line, maybe someone told us, "well, it's nice and you really tried, but it's just a bunch of weeds."
We need to reclaim beauty. We need to recognize it and celebrate it. We need to explore it and create it. We need to enjoy it and honor it. Beauty in ourselves, in others and in the world we live in. Because sometimes, it is more than just a bunch of weeds. Sometimes it is beautiful.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Toes in the Sand, Choosing Rest
Last month, I received a text from my friend Jill inviting us to get our families together. We both went through our calendars throwing out dates for possible connections. After several attempts to find a date that fit for both of us, we landed on a winner. Three full weeks away. I find myself in this situation often. Wanting to connect with the people in my life, but not being able to find a time in the foreseeable future to do so.
I have felt too busy lately. Like my calendar and schedule are controlling me instead of the other way around. I am made for full on, deep connection with others. It is hard wired in my heart to know and be known. I have felt depleted in this area of my life for a couple months. This empty tank in my heart slowly sucks the life and energy out of all other parts of my life. My job is harder, my parenting is lacking and my motivation to move forward wanes.
Enter: Spring Break. We spent the week in Florida. We had no agenda, no schedule and it was absolutely lovely. The six of us enjoyed lazy mornings, relaxing trips to the beach, fun afternoons in the pool and a week spent with my parents. We rarely looked at our watches and let our hungry tummies dictate our days. It was just the break we needed.
So often, we wait until we are in a crisis situation to choose rest. If your house is anything like mine, the weekends are filled with kids' activities and projects that need to be completed. Sitting down and relaxing is not something we take time for. If you are like me, you feel guilty for taking the time for yourself. There is always something else to do and people that need you, but all those things will still be there if you take the time to say no and rest.
Rest needs to be an essential part of our lives. God tells us to rest. We need to take a Sabbath. We need to turn down the volume on our lives and allow ourselves to be filled back up in the peace and quiet. When we do choose rest,we are better able to fulfill our purpose in our everyday activities. Rest looks different to everyone. What looks like rest to me might look like laziness to you. Investigate what rest looks like for you and try to fit it into your schedule every week.
Pictures from our Spring break don't include theme parks and adventure, but they do include smiles and the peace that comes from digging our toes into the sand, listening to the soulful sound of the ocean tide and choosing to take a deep breath and rest.
I have felt too busy lately. Like my calendar and schedule are controlling me instead of the other way around. I am made for full on, deep connection with others. It is hard wired in my heart to know and be known. I have felt depleted in this area of my life for a couple months. This empty tank in my heart slowly sucks the life and energy out of all other parts of my life. My job is harder, my parenting is lacking and my motivation to move forward wanes.
Enter: Spring Break. We spent the week in Florida. We had no agenda, no schedule and it was absolutely lovely. The six of us enjoyed lazy mornings, relaxing trips to the beach, fun afternoons in the pool and a week spent with my parents. We rarely looked at our watches and let our hungry tummies dictate our days. It was just the break we needed.
So often, we wait until we are in a crisis situation to choose rest. If your house is anything like mine, the weekends are filled with kids' activities and projects that need to be completed. Sitting down and relaxing is not something we take time for. If you are like me, you feel guilty for taking the time for yourself. There is always something else to do and people that need you, but all those things will still be there if you take the time to say no and rest.
Rest needs to be an essential part of our lives. God tells us to rest. We need to take a Sabbath. We need to turn down the volume on our lives and allow ourselves to be filled back up in the peace and quiet. When we do choose rest,we are better able to fulfill our purpose in our everyday activities. Rest looks different to everyone. What looks like rest to me might look like laziness to you. Investigate what rest looks like for you and try to fit it into your schedule every week.
Pictures from our Spring break don't include theme parks and adventure, but they do include smiles and the peace that comes from digging our toes into the sand, listening to the soulful sound of the ocean tide and choosing to take a deep breath and rest.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Chasing Rainbows and Choosing Joy
Today is the first day of Spring. Even with the chilly morning air, there is a sense of anticipation and hope of sunny days to come. The early Spring flowers are beginning to push their way out of their winter slumber and birds are filling the morning with song. I love this time of year.
I also love quick pop up thunderstorms in the Spring. The kind of storm that leaves as fast as it arrives and is followed by a beautiful sun and a rainbow. I have always loved rainbows. When I was a little girl, it was one of the only things I could draw with any real talent. I had stickers and sheets and earrings all filling my world with the colorful order of ROYGBIV. As I grew older and discovered my faith, I was in awe of the Biblical promise of a rainbow. Seeing a rainbow in the sky is a reminder to me of how very much God loves me and how He keeps his promises. I simply cannot pause long enough to take in the beauty of a rainbow filling the sky.
This year, my husband and I have chosen the word JOY for our focus. We want to saturate our life and the lives of our children with more joy. Not happiness, but joy. True, heartfelt, deep, abiding joy. The kind of joy that remains on the bad days. The kind of joy that remains when you don't feel happy. The kind of joy that invades our hearts and becomes the very breath we breathe.
A huge task. As I read back over that I think to myself, "really is that even attainable?" I believe that it is. However, I also believe that we have to work for it. We have to intentionally choose joy. We have to seek it out and sometimes even hunt it down. As if we were searching for the end of the rainbow.
I am convinced a direct route to a joy-filled life is through the filter of gratitude. Every time I find myself caught up in the "stuff" of life and lose perspective, I notice that I am lacking gratitude. Gratitude leads to joy and joy is what I am chasing. What I am choosing. What I long for deep within my soul.
To me, choosing joy is like finding a rainbow in the sky after a Spring rainstorm. It is all the colors of my life brought together to be something beautiful.
I also love quick pop up thunderstorms in the Spring. The kind of storm that leaves as fast as it arrives and is followed by a beautiful sun and a rainbow. I have always loved rainbows. When I was a little girl, it was one of the only things I could draw with any real talent. I had stickers and sheets and earrings all filling my world with the colorful order of ROYGBIV. As I grew older and discovered my faith, I was in awe of the Biblical promise of a rainbow. Seeing a rainbow in the sky is a reminder to me of how very much God loves me and how He keeps his promises. I simply cannot pause long enough to take in the beauty of a rainbow filling the sky.
This year, my husband and I have chosen the word JOY for our focus. We want to saturate our life and the lives of our children with more joy. Not happiness, but joy. True, heartfelt, deep, abiding joy. The kind of joy that remains on the bad days. The kind of joy that remains when you don't feel happy. The kind of joy that invades our hearts and becomes the very breath we breathe.
A huge task. As I read back over that I think to myself, "really is that even attainable?" I believe that it is. However, I also believe that we have to work for it. We have to intentionally choose joy. We have to seek it out and sometimes even hunt it down. As if we were searching for the end of the rainbow.
I am convinced a direct route to a joy-filled life is through the filter of gratitude. Every time I find myself caught up in the "stuff" of life and lose perspective, I notice that I am lacking gratitude. Gratitude leads to joy and joy is what I am chasing. What I am choosing. What I long for deep within my soul.
To me, choosing joy is like finding a rainbow in the sky after a Spring rainstorm. It is all the colors of my life brought together to be something beautiful.
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